Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Putting myself into their shoes!

Throughout the week we have been doing a lot of literacy. The most recent subject would be writing. Our teacher Mrs Nua has told us about one of the highlights in her holiday. It was about her daughter who went on a Bungee Jump. She showed us shots of the moment. She gave us a very brief and descriptive story about when her daughter was getting ready to jump and when she had jumped. So our Teacher told us to put ourselves into her daughters shoes and to wright an exciting but short story so here is my story:

I stood there feeling crackled as I looked 40 metres down thinking about Bungee jumping made me want to puke. I stood there getting ready to jump 40 terrifying metres down off Hanmer Bridge. It was to late now, So I had no choice but to jump.

My stomach gurgled out loud like a jammed sewage pipe. I had a stomach ache. It was do or die now (die as in I would get a punishment from my mum because it cost a a lot of money to jump off a BRIDGE!!!) I jumped!! And my chest was as numb I took a jump of fright. "AAAHHH!!!!!!" I screamed like a helpless girl saying to myself, "I'm so stupid to think this was a cool idea!!"

I flew down like a Phoenix. As I was still screaming with terror I felt a nice cool breeze glide threw my non dyed hair. It felt so refreshing and terrifying at the same time in fact it was a mixed bag of emotions!! I was still falling and the ground got closer and closer,closer,closer ............AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I shut my eyes and was about to cry! But then suddenly BOOIIINNNGGG?!?! I opened eyes in question, "I'm alive? I"M ALIVE!!!" I suddenly feel a lot better knowing that I had survived that breathtaking jump!


Mrs Burt said...

Wow Tanielu - if you have never been bungee jumping before, you have done a fantastic job of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. I have never done it either and you described it just how I imagine it would feel. Excellent writing.

Dad said...

Good stuff Tanielu.

Maybe we can experience it first hand on our next family holiday?

What do you think?

Melville Intermediate School, Hamilton, Waikato, Home of the Chiefs said...

Tanielu - I have always been a big fan of your work and this is no exception. A great piece of written work. We were talking about you in Room 8, and some of the Boys thought that as someone who lived in Auckland you might be sad because the Auckland Blues aren't playing very well. We had a quick brainstorm about ways of cheering you up and decided to post you something from Waikato, home of the mighty Chiefs. It should be here later in the week or early next week.
Room 8, Melville Intermediate School, Hamilton, Waikato.

summerland said...

Cool that must of been really fun
bungee jumping. it really hooked me in


Anonymous said...

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